Probably won’t be posting on here as much for a while as I’ve deleted the tumblr app so will only be on when I’m on a computer. Just an FYI haha.

Well, what an absolute joke. After just over a week my ‘manager’ cancelled my contract, simply because she didn’t like me! I will shortly be writing an email to head office to complain about her appalling management technique. I’m so glad I’m staying in touch with all the other waitresses as they’re the nicest people I’ve ever had the opportunity to work with, aside from that I’ll just miss the tips!! In the spirit of everything happening for a reason I managed to get another job today in a bar I’ve been going to since I was 16 aha so every cloud has a silver lining n all that!

That aside I’ve been slightly concerned recently as to how co-dependent I seem to have become on Sam. However, after a lot of thought, I don’t really think it’s that. I just seem to base a lot of how I’m feeling on how he is. I know you’re probably thinking that sounds like the same thing but it honestly isn’t. If I’m being 100% honest he’s the most important thing in the world to me so making sure he’s happy is my main priority really. It sounds sappy as fuck but there’s no point trying to pretend otherwise. I have always worked so, so hard to make sure my family are proud of me and these days I’m happy if I know he’s proud of me. I’m trying very hard to be more productive and sort my life out so that he is proud of me and doesn’t have to basically support me, seeing as though he’s the person that has to emotionally support me through pretty much everything! He does have a really hard time with me sometimes because I know full well I’m not the easiest person to be around all the time or be in a relationship with but he also knows that the reason i’m a difficult girlfriend is because of things that have happened with him in the past.

I just think it’s really important at the minute that I try and put as much of a positive spin on everything as possible and to not take things so personally. I do have a history of mental ‘issues’ which means that I do, genuinely, have to try very hard to stay positive when I feel down but he helps me through all of that, most of the time without even realising. Can’t thank him enough for that. xo